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If you look up the definition that is “art” you will see the word emotion and expression come up several times throughout the text. Emotion and expression are directly tied to our brains and how we perceive the world. Global perception comes easily to a lot of photographers because we see the world differently. Not only are we able to frame up a scene in front of us, but we can also put a creative spin on said scene.
What happens when that connection in emotional expression and the brain is severed, though?
When you experience trauma, an emotional block, or a life-altering event, there is typically a rift between your creativity and how your brain is processing emotions. The difficult thing about it is that not one person experiences this the same. Some may work through the barrier quickly, but others may be trapped in the chasm for the rest of their life.
Whether you call this a creative block or something else, it always has a way of working into our mental health in landscape photography.
Now, I don’t claim to be an expert on mental health or the therapy that can help someone work through their situation. All I can do is tell my story through the process and how that journey helped me discover the joy in my life and in my photography again.
Up until March of 2017, I lived in what you might call a privileged society. I grew up in a wealthy and safe suburb, I had access to anything I wanted, and I was free to do what I pleased.
However, in March of 2017, my wife and I moved to Haiti and into a culture that is completely different than anything I had ever known. We were on our way to be missionaries.
During our two years in Haiti, we experienced trauma that would change us forever.
The way I perceived my trauma fermented into what’s known as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder.) Now, if you’re thinking that only soldiers get PTSD, you are wrong. Sarita Hartz writes that 94% of missionaries experience trauma in the field, with 86% of those experiencing trauma multiple times (A Missionary’s Story of PTSD and Healing.)
The trauma I experienced festered into anxiety and panic attacks that hindered me from taking the photos I loved and creativity as a whole. However, in my experience through counseling, I discovered ways to tie my mind and the creative process together again.
The practice of mindfulness helped me overcome my PTSD through a practice called EMDR that revisits trauma through your senses to reconnect with it and realize that it is a past event. I also implemented mindfulness into my life and into my photography. The joy that it allowed me to experience in photography was like I was picking up my camera for the first time again.
Recording this podcast was the most difficult thing I’ve ever recorded. It forced me to be vulnerable and tell my story. I don’t tell the story because I’m seeking attention or pity; instead in hope that it will help others who may have experienced trauma, may be experiencing it, and might experience trauma in the future. I also hope to erase the stigma that surrounds mental health and seeking assistance through counseling.
There is space for mental health in landscape photography.
Similar discussions on trauma and creativity can also be heard in this episode with Erin Babnik.
If you’re struggling, check out my friend Rachel Zimmerman’s resources.